I just needed to see you
by The Corsair's Quill
Summary: My tumblr prompts and one-shots for Captain Swan. Mostly angst
1. Numb

**So, I'll be posting all my tumblr prompts here. Mostly angst, tho.**

**Prompt: How about TLK didn't work because Killian was already dead by the time Emma got there?**

_**-/-**_

"No," she muttered, waiting for him to wake up, her hand moving up from his chest to his face, slapping him lightly, hoping to wake him up. But there was no movement.

"_No, Killian_," she croaked, not willing to believe that he was gone. She thought she'd been fast enough. She'd barely seen Maleficent's curse fly at him before he was crumpled on the ground, a large shard of glass sticking through his chest, blood oozing on the ground beneath him.

But True Love's Kiss broke any curse, so he had to wake up. There was no doubt that they weren't true love, the theory already having been tested by breaking the curse of Shattered Sight.

"Emma," she heard someone mutter, kneeling next to her. She was half sprawled across him, his eyes closed and his face wan, pale; not even a twitch. She felt a hand on her arm, trying to pull her away, but she resisted, burying herself closer to his side, not noticing the blood seeping into her clothes. "Emma, you need to let go of him," Robin coaxed, his grip on her arm tightening,

"Let me go," she snapped, pulling herself up, moving to cup his face again. "He's fine!" She shifted her eyes back to his face, gently tracing his pale features, "Killian, I know you're in there. Please _please _come back to me," she sobbed, wet splats falling on his face. "I-I need you. _I love you, I love you, I love you. Please don't leave me,_" she cried, rubbing her palm against his stubbled cheek. She moved forward pressing her lips to his over and over again, coaxing him to wake up.

Because the alternative was unfathomable, he couldn't be dead. He couldn't be gone. Just the thought alone made a raw cry wretch itself from her throat, as she kissed him harder, crying against his mouth. "You-you promised, you're a surviour. _You promised me, you idiot!_" she cried harder, shaking him.

Robin, unable to watch her suffer any longer, forcibly pulled her away, turning her away from his mate's cold, lifeless body. He felt her heave and sob gut-wrenchingly. The wicked woman had succeeded in what she set out to do, she'd broken the saviour. There's no bringing her back now.

"_No, no, no. Oh, God, no." _she whimpered in a litany, openly mourning the loss of her true love.

"I'm so so sorry, Emma," he whispered brokenly.

"_He's gone, Robin_," she broke down. "_He left me. I lost him. I lost, Killian."_


	2. Save You

**Prompt: Emma can't find Killian after her confrontation with the SQ. When she did, Gold is to the point to crush his heart**

This has been done a lot, but here's my play of it.

-/-

"Dad," Emma called out, running towards her parents, carefully cradling Neal. "Mom!" she grinned, hugging them as tight as she could without crushing the baby in her arms. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Oh, honey. I knew you could do it," Mary Margaret gushed, pressing a kiss to her forehead, then one to Neal's, tears shining in her eyes.

David held her close, his hand running through her hair gently. "I'm so proud of you, Emma," he mumbled, sighing in relief.

But before she could relax she heard the rapid clicking of heels behind her, turning to see Belle's frantic face, wet with tears. "Emma," she panted. "You need to come with me- stop Rumple. He-he has Killian," she cried, her breathing hard.

"What?" her eyes went wide with fear. If the Dark One had him, it could only mean one thing. He was up to something and it was _not _going to end well. She felt her heart race from fear for her pirate, because after the day she'd had, she couldn't _handle _it if something happened to him. "Where are they?" she demanded, her face stoic.

"By the wishing well. Emma, hurry," she urged, already running towards the direction of the well. "I don't know if he has much time." Emma and David followed her, throwing caution to the wind.

-/-

Emma's heart stopped when she saw what was happening in the clearing. Killian was on his knees, his hand clutching his chest and his face screwed up in pain, his heart (_his pure, strong, _red_ heart_) clutched in the hands of the monster. Gold's eyes brightened up with glee when she raced towards them, only to be stopped by an invisible barrier, throwing her back.

"Emma, careful," her father called, his sword poised to attack. At the sound of her name, Killian turned, almost falling over.

Gold loosened his grip on his heart, his attention focused on them now. "Hear to see your pirate _die,_Miss. Swan?" he sneered.

"Let. Him. _Go, Gold_," she growled, picking herself up.

"Or what?" he challenged. "You'll kill me? Good luck with that. One misstep from you and his heart will turn to ash," he threatened, his teeth clenched together, warningly as Killian cried out in pain.

"Em-ma," he choked out. "Get out of here," he bit out.

"No," she refused, her eyes meeting his now. "I am _not _leaving you."

"Emma…please, darling. Save yourself," he begged, his eyes shining with despair.

"Shut up, _pirate_," Gold snapped. "How about a deal?" he asked, his eyebrow raised at Emma.

"No!"

"What kind of deal?" she demanded, ignoring her father's sharp inhale or Killian vehement cries. "Swan, _NO!_"

The Dark One grinned wickedly, "Your life…for his," he proposed.

"_NO! You leave her alone, crocodile, or I swear on the Gods I will skin you alive,_" Killian swore, struggling up. He shifted his gaze to hers, his ocean blue eyes burning her, the fear and distraught clear on his face, begging her to not take the deal. But she couldn't let him die, not now when they'd just found each other.

"Rumple, wha-What are you _doing?_" Belle demanded, breaking them out of their staring contest.

"Belle," his gaze softened. "You shouldn't be here."

Her eyes grew dark, "I am _not_ going to stand by and let you kill people. People who are my friends!" she cried, her hands fisting at her side.

"Friend?" he scoffed. "The pirate who shot you?"

"No. The man who protected me," she replied defiantly. "I don't know what your scheme is, but I will never forgive you if you go through with it, Rumple."

"Belle, you don't understand…" he began, but she cut him off.

"I understand perfectly. I know I married a man who valued power above all else, but I never thought you'd stoop so low. Threatening your son's friend and the mother of your grandson. If this is your way of honouring Baelfire's life, you've _failed_." her tone full of contempt. "What you've become…there's no saving you," she whispered brokenly.

He felt his resolve weaken and that was enough for Emma, who quickly channeled her magic to break through the barrier and send the startled wizard flying, the heart and dagger in hand falling to different corners. She was quick to pick up the, rushing to Killian's side.

"You okay?" she asked, her eyes filling up, because _she almost lost him_.

He nodded wordlessly, pulling her into a tight hug as she kept the heart from being accidentally squished. He buried his face by her neck, inhaling her scent, trying to reassure himself that she was still here, that he was still here.

She pulled back reluctantly, "Let's put this back where it belongs shall we?" she smiled, placing his heart over his chest.

He placed his hand over hers, pushing it in, grimacing in discomfort as she placed the heart in place, withdrawing their hands, entwining them over his chest as she once again felt his strong heartbeat under her palm as the light returned to his eyes.

"Gods, love," he breathed. "I thought the last time I'd ever see you was at the Sheriff's station. I- I could barely say goodbye-"

"Shhh," her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "You never have to say goodbye to me again. You're okay now."

"Emma, I did some terrible things…" he began.

"I don't care," she shook her head. "You're alive. You're okay and you're alive and I don't care what you did, intentionally or unintentionally as long as I have you."

He sighed, resting his forehead against hers, "Always," he promised.

But their reunion was short lived, "I don't think so," they both heard a raspy voice call out.

"Leave him alone, Gold. You have no leverage," she warned.

"Oh, Miss. Swan. You underestimated me," he acted affronted. "I _always_ have a back-up plan." he said, holding up a blue hat.

"No," Killian breathed, standing up and pushing her behind him. "You are not harming her," his hands fisted tight.

"Oh, yes, I am."

"I don't think so," David growled, pointing his sword at him.

Gold scoffed, "You're going to stop me with that thing?"

"No," a female voice sounded, rough yet strong. "I am," Belle held up the real dagger she'd picked up from where it had fallen.

His eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

"The only thing I _can_!" she exclaimed. "I thought you were strong enough to resist the dark magic, but I was wrong. This is all I can do now."

"Belle-"

"Leave." she demanded.

"If you would let me-"

"I _command _thee, Dark One. _Leave,_" she emphasised, her eyes filling up with tears as he vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

Everyone stood still before Emma breathed a sigh of relief, clutching Killian's arm. He pulled her close, squeezing his eyes shut and holding her tightly to him, never wanting to let go. "You're okay now," he sighed. "Thank the Gods, Emma, you're okay."

"Yeah," she whispered, pressing her lips to his softly, grazing it lovingly. "Yeah," she repeated, looking up at him with stars in her eyes. Before she could kiss him again, she heard a throat clear, altering them of the presence of others.

Both of them blushed, pulling apart slightly but still holding the other, not willing to let each other go yet (_if ever_). Belle stood next to David, sniffling and Emma felt her heart break for the woman, as she stared at the dagger in her hand. She walked over to her, one of her hands holding Killian's and dragging him along with her. She placed her other one over Belle's making the other woman look up.

She smiled sadly, "It's going to be alright, Belle," she tried to reassure her. The brunette sniffled again, nodding with a sad smile of her own. "Let's get you home," she added, giving her dad a look and he nodded in answer.

"Come on. You can stay with us for a while," he smiled, his hand on her shoulder. "We'll swing by your place so you could get a few clothes, yeah?" he asked, Belle answering with a silent nod, following the prince.

Emma watched the two go, lost in thought when Killian startled her out of it, his lips pressed to her neck. She shuddered deliciously, leaning back against him, a content smile on her face. "How about that coffee now, love?" he murmured, trailing kisses down her neck as she leaned back further to grant him more access.

"Mmm, sounds amazing," she agreed, turning in his embrace and pulling him in for a real kiss, her hands lost in his hair.

_He was safe now_.


	3. Wreckage

**Prompt: Killian is pulling away from Emma because of the heart (or more like lack of it) and Emma thinks that he doesn't love her anymore and he agree because he needs to leave her**

-/-

"Killian, what is going on?" she whispered tiredly, weary of his happy facade.

"What do you mean, love?" he smiled, but it was blatantly obvious that it was fake.

"You know what I mean," she snapped. "You've been pulling away from me for the past two weeks! You don't talk to me about it, you pretend as if everything is fine…You _lied_ to me."

"Emma…" he sighed, standing up.

"No. Whatever it is, just tell me."

When he remained silent her old fears started to resurface, making her throat constrict. "Are you- Is it me?" she asked quietly, not looking at him now.

He almost immediately went to reassure her, but maybe this might be in his favour. He _hates _himself for doing this to her, but if it means he could save her from going through what he did when he lost Milah. He would not want her to suffer that way; he'd prefer it if she thinks he didn't want her.

He breathed deeply-and his heart would have shattered if he had it-and said, "Yes."

Her head whipped up, the shock and hurt so clear in her eyes, he almost took back his words. Instead he swallowed thickly, making himself look into her eyes, memorize them, remember the look of utter betrayal and deep seated anguish and remind him of the monster he is.

"What?" she breathed out, her eyes wide.

He made himself say the words, hurt her so his death wouldn't crush her. "It _is_ you."

"Why?" her voice quavered dangerously.

"I-" he struggled to find a reason. "It's your magic," he settled, making her draw in a sharp breath. "It's volatile and dangerous. And magic is what took away everything and everyone I loved. I-I cannot be with someone who had magic," he told her, his voice cold and emotionless.

"But-you-" she stuttered, her expression so lost and confused and _oh, God, he cannot do this to her.__  
><em>

"I can't be with you, Swan. You're too dangerous," he said with finality, closing his eyes, unable to look at her any longer as her eyes filled with tears.

He'd never-_not once_- thought he'd be the cause of this look on her. Broken and betrayed. But this was good. She would hate him now, but he could be alright with that if it meant she would be away from him, safe.

And so, without another word or glance at the woman he loves, he left the building, forcing himself to ignore her sobs. But when he was far away enough, he broke down, his own sobs coming from deep within his chest, bent double and struggling to breathe.

He may have broken her heart, but he was utterly and irreparably wrecked.


	4. Forevermore

**The TLK one was so sad! Why don't you try the exact opposite: Killian is too late for Emma?**

-/-

Not exactly what you'd have had in mind, but so, so evil anon…

also inspired by this, however ironic it may seem

-/-

_You could be my white knight_  
><em>And I could be your fairy tale<em>  
><em>And you could come and save me<em>  
><em>But that is not the end<em>

_-/-_

Killian jerked his cutlass from their attacker's chest, pushing him away with his foot, blood spattering on his face. The villains have not stopped coming after their family even after they moved back to the Enchanted Forest a year ago.

This new one, a witch, had a proclivity to send armies of the living dead, making it almost impossible to kill them. But Regina had come up with a spell that did the job, enchanting their weaponry to make for more efficient fighters.

He searched around frantically for his wife, both of them having been separated during the ambush. He grinned when he spotted her running towards him from the edge of the clearing, her own smile reassuring him of her safety. He started to move towards when he saw something shine behind her, but before he could think further, he heard the sharp hiss of an arrow before it hit its mark- Emma.

He gasped out loud, running towards her and catching her before she hit the ground, her mouth open in shock more than pain, tears already gathering in her green orbs. She looked almost confused as he gently lowered her to the ground, resting her head on his thigh as he looked around in rage at her attacker, but they were already gone, nowhere in sight.

Her hand came back bloody when she touched her stomach, making the breath hitch in her throat as she looked up at him with fear and pain in her eyes. He let his eyes drift over to her wound, trying to find some way to stop the bleeding, but the arrow went through her from behind; and without a doctor, he was afraid to even touch the arrow.

He felt the fear claw at his chest, his breath backing up and anguish lining his face, as he moved to cover her hand. "It-it's going to be okay, love." he promised, squeezing her hand. "I'll get you to a doctor."

"Killian," she whimpered as he tried to move her, making him stop immediately. "I-It'll be too late," he could hear the absolute terror in her voice.

"Shhhh," he chided. "Don't bloody say that, Swan. I'll go get help."

"No!" she cried, grabbing his arm. "N-not enough ti-time," she stuttered, tears streaming down her face.

He shook his head, "No. No, no, _no. _You are _not_ dying on me, Emma," he protested, his voice breaking. She closed her eyes, his pain overwhelming hers.

His hand cupped her wound, trying to stem the bleeding, "I'll be damned if I let you die," he gritted out, his eyes meeting hers, blue so striking and making her heart stutter because _she's dying, leaving him._

She placed her hand on top of his, "Killian," she breathed deeply, struggling, "Look at me," she begged, her other hand tracing his cheek softly, lovingly. He shook his head stubbornly, which made her sob out loud because she's _scared_ and _she doesn't want to leave him. She doesn't want to hurt him. But most of all, she doesn't want to die._

Her sob made him whip his head up, his eyes meeting hers again, cheeks wet. His hand, blood and all, cupped her face, shushing her softly as she cried into his chest. "I love you _so much_," she vowed before crying out in pain.

"Don't-Please don't say goodbye, darling. _Please, please don't leave me_," he pleaded, his voice thick with tears, making her cry harder.

"I don't want to!" she started to cough, scaring him further. "Te-tell my family I love them, okay? An-and Henry…he's going to need you. Em-" she was blubbering now, her words almost indecipherable. "Em-Emily, she-she won't be able to understand."

"Shhh, love. Don't talk," he leaned his forehead against her.

But she continued, knowing she was pressed for time, "But tell her that I will always love her, okay? _Promise me_ th-that our daughter will know that I'm-I'm in a better place. Killian." she demanded and he nodded wordlessly.

"And you," she cupped his face, "Don't lose your way. You are _so loved Killian Jones._ Always."

"Gods, Emma," he sobbed, kissing her almost roughly, pouring a lifetime of love into it. "Gods, I love you so much."

She wheezed as it became harder to breathe, "Killian…I'm scared," she whimpered, his heart shattering as he heard the pain so clearly in her voice. "I-I don't want to die."

He pressed his face into her neck, "I know, sweetheart, I know," he mumbled, helpless but to hold her in his arms. "I'll be here with you," he promised. "I'm so sorry," he admitted after a while.

She shook her head, "No-not your…" she swallowed thickly, "fault. Don't bl-ame yourself."

"Emma," he started, but one look from her and he stopped, pulling her closer.

"Killian?" she whispered, her voice faint. "Th-thank you. For giving me everything."

His eyes were clouded with tears making her look blurry. "Thank you, Swan. For saving me," he replied, kissing her forehead, eyes closed.

When he got no reply, his heart sank as he uselessly felt for her pulse. _She was gone_.

The forest echoed with the cry of an anguished man as he held the love of his life in his arms, her body cold and eyes closed, looking almost serene in death. He sobbed, his face buried in her golden tresses, longing to see her eyes one last time. (_And forever more)._

-/-

_But the world can spin so madly,  
>And love can hurt so badly,<br>And stories end so sadly,  
>But this is not the end.<em>


	5. Fear is not a safe place to hide

**Because obviously I like angst more than fluff.**

* * *

><p>Emma woke to the sound of rustling sheets and harsh breaths, her mind on quick alert and automatically reaching of the pirate sleeping next to her. But he wasn't there, he was sitting at the edge of the bed, head cradled in his hand and stump as he tried to regulate his breathing.<p>

She scrambled up to him, hugging him gently from behind and pressing her lips to his sweat soaked back, rubbing soothing circles against his abdomen. He'd been having nightmares ever since he got his heart back, Gold's control over him and what he made him do haunting his days and nights. He'd been an emotional wreck the first week, guilt eating him up and his nightmares worse then ever.

He'd seemed much better the past two weeks, but apparent she was wrong. Emma tried to soothe him as he frantically checked his pulse, then pressed his hand against his chest, hard, feeling the minute but strong _tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump_ of his heart.

He swallowed thickly, his whole body trembling as he tried to hold in his sobs. Emma simply held him tighter, one hand entwining with his and feeling his heart beat steadily under her palm. "It's okay," she murmurs, sleep still clinging to her voice. "Shhh, it's okay, Killian. It's still here. You're still here. It's okay," she soothed, pressing kisses across his shoulder blade as he shook with every sob. "It's okay," she repeated over and over as he slowly calmed down.

He turned around and buried his face his her neck, wet with sweat and tears. She held him tight, carding her hand through his hair, pressing kisses to the top of his head. "I-I thought-" he gulped, struggling to find words. "I thought he had my heart still. I thought I was going to-"

But she cut him off, pulling him back and kissing him firmly, pouring all her love and relief into it. Pulling back, she rested her forehead against his, "He is never going to hurt you again. I made sure of that; your heart is protected now. No one can take it. No one can control you ever again."

He nodded, eyes still closed. "Look at me," she softly urged, cupping his cheeks between her hands. He hesitated before opening his eyes, so blue and heartbreaking, brimming with unshed tears and anguish and Emma never wants to see that look on his face ever again.

She felt her throat constrict but she held strong, as she swallowed thickly, "I love you," she whispered it, but she never wavered, meaning every word and more. "I almost lost you," her breath hitched, "and just the thought of that- it makes my blood run cold, Killian. But I can't stand you wrecking yourself over this."

He stared at her, wide eyed and scared. "Emma…" he breathed. "I-I am always so afraid," he admitted, his voice breaking.

"That's okay," she assured him. "Because I'm always there to make you feel safe, the way you're always there for me."

His expression softened as he relaxed considerably, allowing her to drag them back into bed and under the covers. He pulled her close, her head resting on his shoulder and hand on his chest. "I love you too," he whispered into the dark, making Emma smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews make me smile. And update my other fics. ;)<strong>


	6. Are we there yet?

**Prompt: Killian misses the sea too much and he leaves Emma**

**Ooooh, I love this one. And totally not what you'd have expected me to go with. But here it is!**

* * *

><p><em>6 months.<em>

It's been 6 months and 11 days since he went missing. 6 months and 11 days since she last saw him.

And 11 days since they stopped searching for him.

-/-

All had been quiet in Storybrooke for the past four years. Everyone was happy and together. Emma and Killian were married with a three year old, Daliah. Neal was growing up fast. And Regina and Robin were married and happy together.

All had been well. And the town got restless. The Dwarfs brought up going to the Enchanted Forest at every town meeting. The one little spark became an uproar and soon all of them were demanding a portal back home. Unable to deny them, and wanting to return themselves, Mary Margret and Regina tried to find a counter-curse to transport them all back to their land.

And they found one. In a far off island. And who else was better for the job than the resident pirate?

Killian had volunteered and Emma, protested. She didn't want to let him go alone, and she couldn't leave Daliah either. He managed to curb her fears, reassuring her of his quick return. He left her with a kiss and a wink. And now all she was left with was the memory of them- his dimpled laugh, his tousled hair, his ocean eyes sparkling with delight- all only a memory now.

-/-

6 months and 11 days. And every day she woke up with her face wet with tears and a small body snuggled to her. She started to sleep on his side since the first month, when there were hopes still of finding him. Soon one month turned to two and two to three…Before she knew it his side was hers now. And his scent was all but gone.

But not his presence, no. Never.

He was with her when she made pancakes. He was with her when she kissed all of Daliah's bruises. He was with her when she did laundry. And he was with her when she cried. He was with her always.

But he wasn't.

-/-

Emma scrambled to Daliah's room, her socked feet skidding on the wood floor in her hurry, her daughter's panicked sobs making her heart jump out of her chest.

She rushed into the room and scooped up the crying child, carding through her hair and bouncing her gently. "Shh, baby. What happened?" she asked, wiping away Daliah's tears.

Daliah buried her tear-stained face in the crook of Emma's neck, softly sobbing into it. Emma worriedly rubbed her back, looking around the room for any sign of mishap.

That's when her eyes fell on pieces of wood. To be more precise, piece of wood that used to make up the model of _The Jolly Roger_ that Killian carved by himself, for Daliah when she was born. And it was broken. _Now_, she understood what made her daughter upset.

"I-I broke da-daddy's ship!" she sobbed, her tiny arms going around her neck. Emma's heart broke to hear her hiccoughing sobs. "Shh, honey. It's okay. Mommy will fix it. It's okay."

"I-I-I want daddy!" her sobs intensified, making Emma's own eyes fill up with tears.

She buried her face in her hair (_his hair)_ and whispered, "I know, baby. So do I."

She tried to console her but it was fruitless. "Daliah, honey, _please_," she pleaded, rocking her crying daughter back and forth, "You're going to get sick. Don't cry, please. Please, please, please," she mumbled into her hair, her own tears streaming down her face.

"I want daddy!" she shrieked, wriggling in her hold. "I want daddy," she whimpered. "Mommy."

Emma nodded wordlessly, "Okay. Okay, we will find daddy, okay? We will. Shhh."

"Mom?" Henry was standing at the door way, his expression hesitant.

"Henry," she breathed, quickly wiping away her tears. "Here, hold your sister. I'll-I'll go get her sippycup," she rushed, handing a now slightly complacent Daliah over to her brother.

Henry's worried gaze followed her all the way to the kitchen before he sighed and attempted to get his sister to sleep.

Emma leaned against the counter, her fist pressed to her mouth to quell in the sobs that threatened to break free. She couldn't do this; she couldn't go on without him.

She struggled to wake up every day, to just survive every day, with no knowledge of what happened to him. Her breathes came out in harsh pants and she slid down the counter, hugging her knees to her chest as she struggled to _breathe._

She couldn't go on with blind hope anymore. He was the best at that, not her.

And despite her best efforts, she let a sob escape through her fist.

-/-

It's been two months since. Two months and still no luck. Emma had persuaded her father to send out another search party. She's relentlessly searched every spell book to find a locator spell that worked. None of the usual ones even helped. And she refused to believe that he was gone. No, she could _feel_ it.

She could feel it in her very soul that he was still alive. He was lost, but alive and she would not- could not- rest until she found him.

She had her nose buried in yet another tome from Regina's vault when she heard a sharp knock on the door. She almost fell in her hurry to answer it, her heart in her throat and her eyes wide because it could be-

"Elsa?" she felt the disappointment set in, but it was quickly replaced up curiosity. "What are you doing here?" she asked, welcoming the hug from the other blonde.

"What? I can't visit?" she joked, pulling away and moving inside the house.

Emma huffed, smiling slightly. "Of course you can. It's just-I-"

"I know, Emma," Elsa smiled sadly. "Your mother managed to contact me. The portal-door seemed to still be functional now. I'm here to help."

Emma felt the warmth rush to her heart, her smile for once genuine. "But what about your kingdom?"

"Anna can manage without me for sometime," she shrugged, taking a place at the table Emma'd just abandoned. "Now, what'd you need me to do?"

Emma hesitated at the doorway, too speechless to react before she smiled gratefully at her friend, moving to sit opposite her as she explained what they were doing.

-/-

Some days were worse than others. Much worse.

It had been 11 months since Killian's disappearance. Almost a year and Emma was nowhere near finding him. All her trails ran cold, everything she found led to a dead end.

Some days it was too much to handle and she couldn't even stay in the same house. It was one of those days when Henry found her in the mines, hiding in a dark corner.

"Mom!" he rushed to her, hugging her tight. Pulling back, he demanded, "What're you doing here? We've been searching everywhere for you!"

"I-I just needed to get away from that house. Everywhere I go, I see him, Henry. This is the only place I've never been with him. This is the only place where I'm not-not _haunted _by him."

"Mom," Henry exhaled loudly. "Snap out of it." Seems like he got the Charming family tact too. "He is _not _dead. He is _not_ a ghost to haunt you. He is alive. And he _will_ come back."

Emma looked up at him, disbelief evident in her expression. "Ho-how can you say that with _such conviction? _I-I struggle every day to find the strength to hold on to the hope that I will find him. How are you so sure?" she looked so hopelessly lost, Henry's heart broke for her.

"Because you of all people deserve your happy ending. And this isn't it. I don't believe that this is how your story ends, I refuse to. So whenever you feel like you can't find that strength, I'll be there to remind you. Okay?"

Emma was silent for a long while, just staring at him. Henry held her gaze, never wavering. And she finally nodded.

-/-

"Mommy, what are we doing here?" Daliah asked, kicking her legs back and forth as she sat next to her mother on the bench.

Emma swallowed thickly. It's been a year. A whole year. She needed to be alone today. No, actually. She needed to be with Killian and the docks were the closest thing that she had.

"We-" she clears her throat. "We're here to spend some mommy-daughter time together. Does that sound like fun?"

Daliah tapped her chin, thinking, her fae scrunched adorably. "What do we do during mommy-daughter time?"

"Hmmm, anything you want!" Emma smiled, picking her up and placing her on her lap.

"Caaaaan you tell me a story?" she asked finally.

"Of course, baby. What story would you like to hear?" she smiled down at her, brushed her hair away from her face.

"'Bout how you and daddy met," she sang, turning to face her fully.

Emma felt the tears prick her eyes as she nodded, beginning the story she's told and re-told a hundred times.

-/-

"And you and daddy really climbed a beanstalk?" Daliah asked, eyes wide, as if she's never heard the story before.

Emma nodded, "All the way up into the sky," she answered. She was about to go on when something on the horizon caught her eye.

Something that was rapidly growing bigger and bigger. Something shaped a lot like _The Jolly Roger_.

Emma's heart raced and tears of joy sprang in her eyes. She stood abruptly, Daliah balanced on her hip. A wide grin stretched across her face even as tears spilled down her cheeks. Her daughter's incessant tugging on her hair dragged her attention back to her.

"Baby, guess what?" she asked, her voice breaking. She looked up at the ship which almost reached shore. "Daddy's home."

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><p><strong>Okay, I really really loved this. And don't worry. There's gonna be a second part! I love reunions. <strong>

**Read and Review, my lovelies.:***


	7. Home, Home, Home

**Here's the second part! Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>The gangplank was barely lowered before Emma launched herself in Killian's arms, Daliah still on her hip. His didn't hesitate before engulfing them both is an embrace, his face buried in her curls, her free hand clutching his head as she pressed her forehead to his shoulder, crying with no qualms now.<p>

"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God," she kept mumbling over and over, barely heard over Daliah's delightful shrikes as she wriggled in their embrace.

"Swan," he breathed, pulling back as much as he dared, cupping her face as dragging her lips to his.

She sobbed against his lips, unable to stop herself from kissing him, touching him; her hands roamed his back, his chest, tracing his face almost roughly.

"Daddy!" Daliah cried, launching herself at him, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck and her face pressed to his neck. Her tiny shoulders shook with sobs as she hugged him close.

He held her to his tight, his heart breaking. "Shh, darling. Shh, I'm home. It's okay," he soothed, rubbing her back as his eyes locked with Emma's, both of them teary eyed.

That's when she finally took him in. He looked _ragged. _His hair was longer, face bearded and thick, skin almost sagging, and his eyes-_Oh God his eyes_. They were bloodshot and wide and _tortured_. As if he'd been through hell and back, just to get back.

But he was back.

She cupped his face, tracing the dark circles under his eyes, blinking away her tears. "Let's get you to the hospital."

-/-

Emma hasn't let go of his hand. Not once. And Daliah hadn't let him go either. Not that he was complaining.

"You're severely dehydrated, as far as I can tell. I want to run further tests, so I suggest you stay the night," Whale said, looking up and smiled. "But I'll let you guys be for some time. Let me just set you up with an IV."

Emma smiled gratefully at him, her eyes drifting back to Killian and Daliah, unable to stop her smile as she watched the two interact. Daliah was animatedly telling him just about everything he missed. Emma felt her throat constrict and she leaned over, turning him to face her and kissing him, surprising him,

But the surprise was short lived as he tangled his hand in her hair, deepening the kiss, his teeth nipping her bottom lip.

"Daaaadyyy!" their daughter whined, making him chuckle and pull away.

"I'm sorry, princess," he apologised, his voice scratchy still. "But I need to tend to _both_ my girls," he grinned, winking at Emma, making her chuckle.

God, how she missed his grin. How she missed _him_

"Hey," she tugged on his hand. "I love you."

He smiled, all star eyed and gentle faced. "I love you," he traced the back on his hand down her cheek, making her lean into his touch.

"And you, my wee lass," he playfully growled, tickling Daliah, making her giggle. _God, how much she missed her daughter's laugh_.

She felt the tears sting her eyes, and was thankful when the doors burst open, revealing what seemed like half the town. Or maybe it was just their family.

"Killian!" Henry exclaimed, running over and throwing his arms around his step-father. "I knew you'd come back!" he grinned.

"Aye, lad," he grinned, hugging him back, mindful of his IV. "I'm glad to be back."

"And we're glad to have you back," Mary Margret added, moving to hug him next. "You were sorely missed, pirate," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead affectionately. "Welcome home."

His throat closed up as she brushed the hair from his face, smiling down at him before giving way for the next person.

"You have missed quite a few of our book club meetings," Belle teased as she hugged him as well, squeezing him tight.

He breathed a laugh, "I apologise, milady."

When she pulled back, her eyes were glassy but her smile wide. "Apology accepted. Oh, and I got you this," she held up a bag. At his raised eyebrow, she explained, "Um, your clothes... I figured you'd want to bathe and change."

His expression softened, as he swallowed around the lump in his throat... So many people, concerned for him...

"Thank you," Emma answered for him, squeezing his hand discreetly, knowing- _always knowing_- him. He squeezed back, his pulse jumping._  
><em>

He cleared his throat, turning to David. "Dave, mate! No hug for me, I see," he teased, making David roll his eyes.

-/-

It was hours before everyone left, reluctantly. Daliah had drifted off to sleep, hugging herself to Killian's side; he and Emma were finally alone.

Her hand trembled as she pushed his hair away from his face, "You need a haircut," she mused, lips pursed.

He caught her hand, bringing it to his lip and pressing them to her knuckles. "How I missed you, Swan," he sighed.

"How _I _missed _you_," she mumbled back, resting her forehead to his. She took in a shuttered breath, "God, Killian," she whimpered, closing her eyes. "_God, _I was so scared."

"Hush, love. I'm here now."

She nodded, tears streaming down her face, mingling with his own.

-/-

"He is banged up, and he's still weak. He needs a lot of rest. But otherwise, he's fine," Whale smiled.

"We go home now?" Daliah exclaimed, perking up.

The adults laughed, Killian nuzzling her hair. "Yes, baby. We can go home now," Emma assured her, locking eyes with Killian.

-/-

They were barely through the door before a blue blur rushed past, arms thrown around Killian, almost knocking him down.

"Uff," he huffed, eyes wide as he hugged the person back. "Elsa?!" he exclaimed. "What in the worlds are you doing here?" he grinned, pulling away.

Emma smiled, letting them reunite as she ushered Daliah in and to her bath, the child protesting the whole while.

"Well," the blonde pursed her lips in mock annoyance. "Someone got himself lost, so I came to help my best friend find him. Such a bother, this man."

Killian felt his heart soar. "Where were you?" she asked, asking the question everyone was itching to.

"I-" he hesitated. "It's a long story. One I wish not to relive." he sighed. "But..thank you. For coming. I know it was as much for Emma. I-I'm glad she had you. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't...Gods, there wasn't a day that those two weren't a constant presence in my mind," he ran his hand through his hair. "Thank you for being there for her. For them."

Elsa nodded, hugging him again. "I am so relived that you're safe, Killian. She-she missed you infinitely. And so did the rest of us."

He nodded, speechless. "I'll let you two be. Give you some family time. You all need it. I'll see you," she smiled, kissing his cheek before leaving.

He closed the door, leaning heavily against it. His fingernails dug into the door as he saw flashes of his time in the island. Fire and steel and endless pain.

He whirled around, eyes wide and alert as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Emma was quick to take her hand back, her own eyes reflecting shock.

He relaxed slightly, reaching out and pulling her to his chest. "Swan," he breathed as she melted into him. "Emma."

She hummed, snuggling closer. She pressed her nose to his neck, "You need to shave," she mumbled, pressing a kiss there.

"Hmmm," he agreed, not moving.

She sighed deeply, pulling away reluctantly. "Come on. Let's say goodnight to Daliah."

He smiled, his hand catching her arm. She raised an eyebrow in question. He brushed her hair behind her ear, gazing at her wordlessly, a soft smile on his face and his eyes so, so light.

She smiled her secret smile at him, one that was all his, as if she understood what he couldn't say. And why wouldn't she? He was as much an open book to her and she was to him.

They stayed that way, eyes locked and a hundred conversations taking place all at once, before Emma broke their gaze. "Let's go."

"Let's."

-/-

Emma laid her head on his bare chest, trying to get her heart to stop racing.

He silently ran his fingers slowly up and down her arm, making her shiver-not _just_ from the cold. He paused, pulling the blankets up higher around her shoulders, only softly hissing as she pressed her cold feet to his calves.

Emma closed her eyes, pressing her ear to his chest, listening to his own racing heart. She sighed softly, the soft whisper of air loud in the room. "I missed this," she admitted, her nails gently scratching his chest.

He pressed a kiss to her head, "What can I say, love? I'm a man of many talents." He chuckled as she swatted his chest, placing her hands over his heart, balancing her chin on them, looking up at him with love in her eyes and a dull ache in her heart.

"You're an idiot," she smiled. "No," she continued. "I missed falling asleep to the sound of your heart beat."

His face fell, expression saddened. "I'm sorry I put you through that, darling," he whispered brokenly, a furrow forming between his eyebrows.

"You have nothing to apologise for," she replied sternly.

"I should never have left," he protested. "It's my fault...the hell you went through."

"Killian..." she trailed off, almost scoffing. "I-I don't care about any of that. All I care about right now is that _you're home_," she whispered, her voice breaking towards the end. "There were days when I thought you were lost to me forever. God, I didn't know how I would have ever moved on, how I would have ever learned to live without-" she cut herself off, unable to continue through the thickness in her throat.

Her tears blurred her vision and she leaned down, pressing her lips to his harshly, teeth digging into his lip.

"Emma," he breathed, pulling back. "I survived that hell because of you and our daughter. _For_ both of you. Every time I felt like giving up, all I could think about was Daliah having to grow up without a father. Or leaving you all alone. I-I-" he stuttered. "Bloody hell, woman. I love you so bloody much. Every day I was away from you was every day I regret. Will forever," he declared.

She had tears streaming down from her eyes steadily. "Wha-what happened to your there?" she asked, tracing a particularly nasty scar that ran across his shoulder.

"Story for another day, my love," he replied, clearly not wanting to talk about.

She simply nodded, resting back against him.

The ache in her heart dulled some more.

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><p><strong>All those who want to know about my other fic updates, I am really really sorry I've not updated yet. But I have a lot of things on my plate right now. I just finished writing a script, and now have to start working on another one. But I promise an update as soon as I get some free time.<strong>

**Thank you so much for the follows and favorites! I love reading what you guys think, and I'm open to new ideas so just PM me. xoxo**


	8. Rain Clouds

**sentence prompt for a captain swan fic: Killian saying "David, please. Don't make me go." Nope.**

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><p>Killian sat, broken and worn, on the bed, his hands clutching a photo frame with a picture of his Swan. It was candid, taken when she wasn't looking, by the wolf girl, Ruby. Her eyes were bright with mirth, corners crinkled in laughter and hair flowing behind her in golden spun waves. She looked heart stopping. Happy.<p>

But even this image wasn't enough to wash out the picture of blood and scarred flesh from his mind. Tearful goodbyes and heartache, hands clutched desperately as he struggled to keep the life from leaving.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a soft knock on the bedroom door, making him sigh and shift on the bed, not making an effort to move otherwise.

"Killian," came David's voice, scratchy and hesitant. "It's time," he reminded. As if he needed any reminding. _It cannot be, not so soon. It was too soon._ He gripped the frame tighter in his hand, a lone tear slipping down his face.

He could hear David shuffling outside for a moment before opening the door, quickly closing it behind him. He sighed, a long, insufferable sigh- all regret and hurt and _loss_. "It's time to go," he repeated, coming to stand in front of him.

Killian looked up, eyes red and puffy- his expression almost pleading. "David," his voice cracked. "Mate, please. _Please_ don't make me go," he almost whimpered, his grip on the frame making his knuckles turning white.

"Killian, I-"

"No!" he cried, standing up abruptly, his eyes wide and wild, his hair sticking up in every which way. "No! You don't understand. I-I can't do it, David. I can't stand there and watch-" he broke off, too choked up to finish that sentence. "Don't make me go, Dave. If you value my sanity, don't. _Please_," he pleaded, sitting back down on the bed, his head clutched in his hands in defeat. "I cannot bear it."

David knelt down next to the bed, his hand gripping his mate's shoulder tightly, trying to channel his strength through to the man- to help him get through what will be the most hardest day of his life.

"Killian, I can only _imagine_ how hard this must be for you. I-I have no words that can console you, mate. But you are my family, and we _will_ get through this. We will," he promised, conviction laced through every word as he urged his son-in-law to meet his gaze. After a long moment, silence disrupted by ragged breaths, Killian looked up, tears streaming down his face.

"I am not ready to say goodbye," he whispered.

"Neither am I," a broken voice whispered from the doorway, making both men whip their head toward the speaker, eyes wide and alert.

Emma smiled brokenly at her husband, her hand clutching her coat closer, her face blotchy with tears. "Dad," her voice broke. "Give us a moment, please."

David hesitated before nodding, leaving them alone for the first time in three days.

"Swan," Killian breathed, walking up to her, wiping away his tears. "I'm sorry, love. You didn't have to see that. You've already got a lot on your plate," he apologised, not meeting her gaze.

He heard a small whimper before she clutched his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes, pooling with tears and reflecting endless pain. She bit her lip to stop it from trembling, his brave Swan. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry for," she whispered fiercely. When he looked about to protest, she cut him off, "No. Listen to me, because you don't seem to be ready to listen to anyone else. What happened to-" she faltered, "to us...It was awful. It _is_ awful. We-" she swallowed thickly, squeezing her eyes shut, resting her forehead on his as he shuddered out a breath. "We lost our child," she was crying now, her voice coming off high and broken. "You lost your child, baby. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to feel _anything_."

He whimpered low in his throat, clutching her to him, burying his face in her neck. She wordlessly ran her fingers through his hair, nails gently scratching his scalp. "It'll be okay," she whispered, kissing his head. "Don't push me away," she hugged him closer and he broke, tears streaming endlessly as he grieved for their child. The one that hardly lived to see a day pass.

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><p><strong>I hate myself as much as you do xx<strong>


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